how to be useful
At parties, if I don’t have a designated chore, I can’t cope. I have to be the photographer, or cooking something or cleaning up empty glasses and napkins and ashtrays. I feel like I have to be useful in order to be there because nobody actually likes me.
x2
x15
What is sort of screwed up is that I received advice from my therapist to do just those things you mentioned when at social gatherings in order to ease social anxiety and “feel useful.” Don’t know if that’s funny or sad.
me too
…I like you. :]
…I like you too
I have spent my entire life feeling that way- that I need to take care of someone in order for them to like me. I’m just starting to “grow out of it” but I find myself doing it a lot. I finally figured out it has a lot more to do with me not liking me than other people not liking me.
i do the same thing but not just at partys at bars as well
I do it and it gets so much worse if I’m drinking…
Wow – you are me. Mostly I just feel more comfortable doing something than feeling the pressure of making good small talk with people. So I will clean, cook, take over the bar-b-que, take out the garbage, collect dirty dishes, separate the recycling, wash dishes (even if there is a dishwasher), serve food (even if there is hired help for this) and so on.
how does one fix this?