i am neurotic.

I drink beer during the week but my roommate doesn’t, and even though she says she’s not judging me, I’m sure she is. Because I’m so sure of this, whenever I open a can, I have to run the water in the sink and then go to the farthest corner of the kitchen to open it, hoping that she doesn’t hear me from where ever she is in the apartment.

Every time I make toast, despite removing both slices from the toaster at the same time, I will conclude that one has departed the toaster sooner than the other. The slice which leaves the toaster first always sits on the right of my plate, is always buttered first and the bottom left hand corner of that slice of toast is always the first bite I take. It doesn’t feel right to eat toast any other way.

I associate a colour to every day of the week. Also, every day is an island in my mind and has a shape. Monday – Royal Blue – Average sized, round, island shape. Tuesday – Grey – Long thin island shape, kind of like Italy’s shape. Wednesday – Yellow – Huge Round island Thursday – Black – Smaller than Monday, round island with very jagged edges. Friday – Reddish Orange – Small almost square shaped island. Saturday – Golden – Big, round, smooth shape. Sunday – Navy Blue – Has a width, double the width of Tuesday but has no beginning or end. Not a complete shape.

I opened a packet of skittles the other day when I was on a phone call and when I put the phone down I found I had separated all the sweets out into piles of the same colour without realising!

I get nervous whenever a co-worker is in a bad mood. I automatically assume that they’re angry with me and I have to apologize and be extra nice.

Whenever I need to pull off the little plastic tab on the cap of a new carton of orange juice, I have to shut my eyes closed and stand arms length away or I else I think the juice will splatter all over me and make my eyes burn.

Every time I eat Tic Tac mints..as soon as I put them in my mouth I have to click them around on my teeth to make that “clack clack” noise and then I pretend that I got my teeth knocked out and they are rattling around in there. I can’t not do it – but only with tic tacs.

occasionally i slip into iambic tetrameter, and if someone else (including the tv or radio) but doesnt match the 8 syllable rhythm i repeat what they said to myself untill the combined syllables become a multiple of 8. It used to take me a long time to do this but i can count off syllables and keep rhythm with my toes at a subconscious level now, which allows me to keep my sanity but leads to blisters.

My mom has a tiger-skinned rug on her living room floor. Every time I walk by it. I’m extra careful not to step on it because I’m afraid it will turn around and bite me.

All the teeth of my keys on my key chain face the same way. I also order them by size, so that if i were to hold all my keys at the same time, with the flat side facing up, they go from smallest to biggest, from left to right.