i am neurotic.

Sugar packets in containers in restaurants drive me insane. If there are three kinds, I will dump the container, sort them so each color is together, then make them face all one direction and neatly stack them before putting them back. My friends noticed and started to mix up sugar packets when I wasn’t looking.

i can’t stand talking to children under the age of 7. i am actually shy, because i am sure they have this unaltered brain, uninfected by society, and they have a clear thinking, and because of that they judge me and make fun of me. i can’t interact with them without thinking all day long how stupid i’ve been.

A few years ago I had sleeping problems. Then I found my little ritual to help me fall asleep. I could sleep only with socks, and the point was to put them on correctly (heel on heel) in the dark, not touching the heels. If I succeeded, I could fall asleep peacefully.

Ever since I saw the movie “Arachnophobia” I have to hit my lamp shade before I turn the light off for fear that a spider will fall down and bite me and kill me. If I’m really tired I won’t even turn the lamp off for fear that I might forget to tap it.

If I’m listening to music at work or in my car I have to wait until the song is over before I can get up and pause the player. I’ve almost peed my pants before because of it.

I am always counting syllables on my fingers. I count them in songs, when I’m thinking about lines from a TV show or a movie. Even just conversations. I also always try to make sure that the end of what I’m counting will place the last syllable on my pinky finger. If it doesn’t, I occasionally add a few extra words to make it happen.

Unless I actually have a fairly close friendship with someone, I hate people touching me or even being physically close to me. When someone shakes my had I have to wipe my hand on my pants. I hate touching people and being touched.

my friends can’t stand to shop with me because I always have to make sure that clothing is neat and tidy on the racks. Zippers must be pulled all the way up, all the buttons buttoned, everything folded neatly and stacked nicely. I have an irrational fear that if I ignore something I see or leave clothing messy that the sales people will get mad and kick me out of the store for messing everything up.

if i don’t read every. single. page. of a website where people enter in their stories and stuff like this, i feel like i missed out.  i one time spent 6 hours on one website.  there were 108 pages.

i cant wear new clothes cause i dont want to ruin them. i often wont wear them for a few weeks.