my father, the bear
I sleep with a teddy bear I’ve had since I was four- but I have to make sure its head is above the covers all night. My father used to go on long trips away from home, and I believed that his soul was leased to the stuffed animal while he was gone. I am always terrified that it will suffocate and subsequently my father will die.
blue raspberry always weirded me out, too
I can’t eat food that’s not it’s natural color. Like if something blue tastes like raspberry or something red tastes like mint.
no one actually reads them
I have worn the same toe-ring for about 4 years and I am now afraid to remove it for any reason because I think it is now holding the end of that toe to the joint.
what sound would the batmobile be
When a bit bored in traffic on the freeway, I look at car tail lights. Then, somehow I associate a sound and facial expression for the shape of the light. Like a Ford F150, 1998 would be “block-block-BLOCK!” and a long face. A 2005 Chevy Impala is tit-TIT—-TIT-tit. And somehow, I am consistent on what I see, and how I perceive the lights to sound over time.
what if you were ambidextrous
When I was a kid I used to always chew the last piece of food in the left side of the mouth. I am left-handed so it was like this side of my body was better than the other.
name brand meat
My friend has some name brand grill accessories for his charcoal grill. He insists that they are for use only with the grill or on food products grilled on that same brand grille.
like psycho, but after the shower
I cannot use a hairdryer while no one is home. I think must be to do with the fact that I’m scared someone will sneak in and kill me without me hearing. It’s so bad I didn’t wash my hair for two weeks because no one was home.
watching too much csi
i’m afraid to spit my gum on the ground in the off chance someone is killed in that exact spot and they use the gum to extract my dna and teeth imprints in order to charge me with the murder.
I can’t eat croissants due to the ridges and their half moon shape. It reminds me of a bug cocoon. I’m afraid when I bite into a croissant, I’ll end up eating larva.
If I’ve just eaten a bite of a cracker, I have to suck on it for until I know there are no flaky bits that could somehow get lodged in my throat by inhaling.
you are special
i am obsessed with the idea that i am neurotic. i constantly think about things that I do that are sort of unusual, and then i revel in my relative weirdness so that i can feel special. i’ve never considered that being strange is undesirable.
i'm doing this when i fly this wednesday
A neurosis I picked up from my dad; when I am flying, just as the plane approaches take-off speed and begins to fly, i have to say ‘get up, you bastard!’. Every time. It earns me some funny looks if I’m sitting next to a stranger.
but what if there's no rail
I have to walk slowly and methodically with my hand on the stair rail the entire time I climb stairs. I can’t risk not being prepared to catch myself for when I fall, and I will fall.
I physically can not walk over three drains… I have to walk over the first two and step around or over the third - I have a inexplicable fear of the third one being a trap door…
and then it even gets put into someone else
It took me years to get over my fear of blood donation. Not because of the needles or seeing blood but because they were going to take part of me away. Any sort of surgery would freak me out for the same reason.
what if it's a bottle that opens from the bottom?
I think any plastic bottle containing soap, shampoo, or conditioner has to be open or it will suffocate. Unused ones don’t count, so I’m safe in the market. Otherwise, I have to open it an let it breath.
et tu, toilet
i have to think “julius ceasar” three times while holding down the flusher on the toilet everytime i flush. i have no idea why.
there's nothing worse than a juicy apple
Whenever I take a bite out of an apple, I simply have to suck up the juice newly exposed in the bitemark. Can’t take another bite otherwise. Wet fruit freaks me out.
this makes pushing a shopping cart hard
i have a friend who has to step over the invisible “extensions” of lines in parking lots. He envisions lines connecting the painted lines and cannot stand to step on them.
but you don't want to waste the food either
The thought of licking the palm of my hand (i.e. if I get a little food on it) makes me feel physically ill. Something about the feeling of my coarse hand on my tongue disgusts me.
I have a strange fear that my headlights aren’t on at night while driving, so often times I’ll leave my hand on the headlights switch just to be sure they stay switched on.
i cannot stand it when the switch on a plug is left on after the plug is removed. i feel like electricity is just seeping into the air and poisoning the people and the furniture. people often torment me by running around switching empty plug sockets on but i still tell people so they might start doing it too.
waking up to channel 5
The tv has to be on a certain channel when I turn it off at night. If someone else was watching and turned it off, I have to turn it on, set it to the channel, and turn it off again. I can’t sleep if I don’t make sure of this.
dance (not) to the music
Whenever I hear rhythmical music coming out of a store or a bar I take special caution to walk out of the rhythm.
probably wasn't into gymnastics as a kid
I cannot bear the absorbency of chalk. I refuse to have any in the house and even going to the local beach is difficult because of the huge white cliffs looming above me.
i'm sure you use sponges all the time
I am completely freaked out by lots of small holes in things. Like for example a tree trunk full of small holes all grouped together, or say lots of small holes across a lawn. Makes my skin crawl, and I can’t stop itching for ages afterwards.
but then you'd have finger knives
i feel as though i can not put too much pressure on the tips of my fingers because, although it sounds weird, i feel like too much pressure could cause the tips of my finger bones to stab through my skin and come out the tips of my fingers. I know its weird, but its things like tapping my fingers on a table that I have an extremely hard time doing.
they'll definitely know now
Whenever sex crosses my mind I start to twirl my hair. When I catch myself doing this I immediately stop thinking that anyone who saw me twirling knows what I was thinking.
I can’t use the water in the kettle after the cleaner has been in at work, I fear she has sprayed windex or some other cleaning substance inside to get secret revenge from her boring life.
solution: cut the sandwich into quarters
Every time I eat a sandwich it takes me several minutes to decide which half to eat first as I am terrified of eating the best half first.
if only there were half steps
I never run up the stairs because I am afraid of the moment. the moment I realize i’ve jumped a little too much but not enough to skip two steps at once.
but then your nails would be very clean
The idea of scratching a bar of soap so that it all goes under my finger nails is somehow quite appalling
not the jennifer connelly movie
I cannot have a bath if the water has been run in the dark. This is because I believe the darkness will somehow infect the water.
typing corr - highlight delete delete - rrectly
I also have to type in a strange way. If i have typed a letter with my right hand that i felt i should’ve typed with my left, I have to go back and re-type it. Every time I have to go back because i made a mistake, I cannot use the backspace button; i always delete the letters or highlight and delete them in some combination. really annoying.
right side up bread
I cannot stand bread loaves or bread rolls or baguettes lying upside down. I need to turn them and place them on their ‘base’. I have the urge to go into bakeries and re-arrange them so they lie correctly on their bases. I have not done so yet in small shops but I have done it in supermakets.
bp 100 over never
My boyfriend is terrified of veins. He wont let anyone touch his wrists and gets frightened if he ever accidently feels his pulse.
video camera heebie jeebies
Whenever I go into a changing room in stores, I’ll look veeery closely at the mirror, because I think there might be somebody watching me, or there’s a video camera behind the glass. Sometimes if I’m getting a particularly bad vibe from that mirror, I flip it off or I curse at it.
it's not plush, it's dry
Seeing the thing below about the girl who can’t touch cardboard, and it reminded me - I cannot touch plush fabric. The stuff people touch and say “oh, that’s so soft,” it makes my fingers feel so dry I am afraid I’ll get cut.
let's see what the black light reveals
I cannot stay in hotel rooms. When I think about all the grime and all the people that have had sex in the bed, it makes me ill. It makes vacations difficult because I have to stay with a relative.
don't you want to buy this bare mattress?
The thought of touching or sleeping on a bare mattress with no sheets makes me nauseous. Whenever I see mattress commercials where the lady is rubbing her hand on a bare mattress, i have to change the channel. In fact, just typing about this is making me a little sick.
My boyfriend has to have 4 quarters, 2 dimes, 1 nickel and 4 pennies in his pocket at all times after he gets dressed. He will not leave the house without this, and he will make change if necessary to keep this exact amount in his pocket at all times! A little neurotic I would say!!
When my children were little I used to put all their baby food jars in alphabetical order. I also alphabatize my sweatshirts according to color.
If there is any kind of mold in the fridge, I start to itch like mad and have to scratch myself to ease the discomfort. Very psychosomatic response, I know! Actually, just thinking about the furry stuff makes me twitch!
every time i leave my house or car i have to spray everything down with febreze. i am so bad about it. i was late to work because i had to go to the drugstore and buy more to spray my house down before i could go to work.
TAP tap, tap TAP, tap tap
whenever i tap my fingers (index and middle finger) on a flat surface (e.g. a table), i feel that i must put EXACT EQUAL PRESSURE on my fingers. i won’t stop tapping unless I feel that i have put the same pressure on each finger.
a+ in handwriting
When I write notes in school, my handwriting has to be perfect. If it does not look visually pleasing I have to rewrite it, or I continue to think about it. Also I cannot stand scratch out marks on paper. I mean the kind you make when you make a mistake and have no eraser. They drive me nuts, so when I’m writing in pen and make a mistake, I have to start a new paper.
need to find another manhole cover
I cannot walk on an uneven number of Manhole covers. I will jump over them, walk in the road or even change the route that I walk in order to avoid it as it is bad luck. Even numbers though bring good luck so it isn’t all bad news.
I have to pet my cat 22 times when I get home from work every day. It is like a ritual. He knows the routine. He will lay there and after the 22nd pet, he gets up and wants food.
I hate socks! My husband cannot wear socks in bed or i have to immediatley change the sheets. I can’t have socks touch me or i seriously get the shivers. I haven’t worn socks for 10+ years…