i am neurotic.

I tend to feel that people in magazine pictures can see me or know what I’m doing.  While knowing it’s foolish, I still have to cover them up if I’m doing anything private, gross, embarrassing and/or am going to sleep.

When I put a blanket on me, if it has a darker side, that side must face away from me. That way, the dark side protects me from the cold.

I can’t eat when my roommate is around. If I’m eating and she comes home, I hide my food behind whatever is convenient - laptop, bookshelf - or just throw it away. Maybe I have some subconscious fear that she will steal my half-eaten sandwiches.

I can’t go to sleep if there is a mirror exposed somewhere in my room. If the mirror on my desk is facing my bed, I’m scared that something will appear in the mirror, or come out of it to come get me. I have to put it face down before I go to bed.

I don’t like using a shopping cart that was just used by a stranger. The germs haven’t had time to evaporate if they just used it.

I update my AIM profile every day because I fear that if I die today whatever I have in there will be the last representation of me and needs to reflect me as a person in a form of an inspirational quote, photo, etc.

I can’t completely fill up my car with gas because I am afraid that if I do it will break down on me. As in the past whenever my car had broken down it was always when I had a full tank.

I can’t go to sleep unless I pee first. Even if I don’t have to pee, I still have to sit on the toilet and pretend just so when I go to sleep I will actually sleep and not think about peeing.

When I play solitaire one the computer, two red aces cannot be touching. It has to be red, black, black, red. And when my friends are playing I make them have it in the same order or I have to leave the room.

I’m convinced that germs live forever on metal and die quickly on plastic, so I can’t hang on to a metal surface on the bus or else I’ll get sick. I think glass is the cleanest material, though, so I also can’t drink out of my roommates’ plastic cups.

Current Configuration has perfectly articulated and illustrated one of our more popular neuroses in his post Essential Life Lesson #1: Over is Right and Under is Wrong which was recently turned into a brochure.

The proper way to hang the toilet paper:

I am prepared to fight a werewolf  every time i open a door. I even ready my fists.

Whenever I drink from a paper cup I have to make absolutely sure that the seam faces away from me at 180 degrees or the drink might run the seam and spill on me.

I think everyone can hear what i’m saying in my head.. so in my head I feel the need to tell them “I know you’re listening asshole.”

I’m uncomfortable in large crowds because I feel the need to give each and every person I don’t know a background history and personality that’s different and unique, based on their clothing and body language.  Every. Single. Person.

Since people always joke that you know, “the kid got dropped on his head as a baby,” I cannot hold babies as a fear that I will drop them and it’ll come true for that child and ruin their future with a dented dumb head.

after pumping gas into my car, i have to push NO when it asks if i want a receipt, or i will crash the car. i am careful to stand there like a chump until i am able to push NO.

When I was in school, and now with my work, I need to number all of the pages of any notes I take. The pages on the right must be odd numbered and the pages on the left even. If I see them numbered otherwise, even if the notes are not mine, I become nauseous.

Whenever I find an error on a website, I write it down and white it out and correct it. If I don’t, I fear that I’ll make the mistake typing that word and that by writing it down and fixing it all is good in the world.

Many weeks can pass without me picking up the telephone because I’m terrified of hearing a person on the other end of the line who I have disappointed in some way. The possibility of hearing disappointment in anyone’s voice has seriously at times meant that I haven’t picked up the phone or listened to voicemails for months at a time.

Whenever I drink out of a mug I always have to drink out of the same spot otherwise I fear that I will accidentally drink out of a spot that has not been sterilized by heat and I will contract a fatal disease.

In the catholic school, we were taught about our personal guardian angel. So each night before falling asleep in my twin bed, I had to scoot to the edge to make room for my guardian angel to also sleep. Not quite sure how many times, I ended up on the floor so my angel was comfy!!

This one’s a bit weird. All the major breakups in my life happened on days that I cut my thumbnails. So if I am in a relationship, I make sure to keep my thumbnails at least a half a centimeter long, so as to keep my relationship going.

i have to have 911 pre-dialed into my cell phone every time i leave the house so all i would have to do is press the call button if i get attacked or in an accident. i fear that the one time i dont do this, something awful will happen.

When I was little, my older cousin told me that if you wear socks to bed, fungus grows and you’ll get sick, I still can’t wear socks to bed, no matter how cold it is.

I count all the syllables in the lyrics of every song I listen to, and if they don’t come to an even number I sing an extra syllable to make the song ‘balance’.

Whenever I’m playing videogames (more back in the day then now) and I come to an important part (such as a boss fight) I feel the need to rearange everything around me. If my clothes are uncomfortable to me at that moment, I will change them. I have to tidy up the space around me and find the perfect spot to sit. If I don’t do this I feel that my chances of messing up in the game are much greater.

i can’t flush the toilet if i’m alone. i’m always scared someone’s hiding in my house, just waiting for a loud noise so that they can sneak up behind me…

when i need to drive, i need to clip my nails first. if i don’t, i can’t stop thinking about what if i was in an accident, or even just had to brake suddenly, and they were somehow bent back or ripped out?

every morning i wake up and rub my face to see if there is some kind of deformation on it. i do this so that if something is on my face, i can recognize it before i look in the mirror, and be ready.

Whenever I go into the basement of my house, I have to recite my 6th grade locker combination while switching the light on, or else I’m afraid the monsters will get me. (22-28-10)I’ve been monster free since then…

I can’t walk or sit with people unless there are more people on my right than on my left otherwise I get nervous, paranoid, anxious and lose focus.

When my home telephone rings, i cannot pick it up in the gap between the “Bring! bring!” sound. i have to wait untill it makes the noise again for me to pick it up while it is sounding. This means i am always left standing with my hand over the phone for a few miliseconds..

When I was young, I’d hold my breath as I passed cemeteries. A friend had told me that if I didn’t spirits would enter my body. After my grandmother died I started breathing in deeply every time I passed one. I still do this.

Whenever I encounter numbers or words I have to breathe in for odd letters of the alphabet and odd numbers and i breathe out for even letters and numbers for example…. I(in) a(in)m(in) n(out)e(in)u(in)r(out)o(in)t(out)i(in)c(in)

I have to breathe out whenever I read the word “cancer” until I look away from it, otherwise I’m afraid it will enter my life and get me or someone I love. You wouldn’t BELIEVE how many times the word “cancer” shows up every day. It’s exhausting.

every time i use the toilet, i’m always scared to use it in case i’m not actually on the toilet, but in a public place thinking im on the loo.

Whever I send an e-mail I have to wish it godspeed or good luck, aloud, because I fear if I don’t that it will get lost in cyberspace. Bonne chance to this neurosis!

whenever a program tells me to “hit any key to continue” I have to hit K.

I must put my left motorcycle glove on first. In many years of riding I’ve had no serious accidents and this is why.

I can’t eat mushrooms because they look like they have eyelashes.

My odometer can never be stopped at an odd number. If as I’m parking, my mileage is odd, I must continue driving around the parking lot or up and down the street until the mileage turns even, and only then can I park.

everyday i ask my family questions only they would know to make sure they’re actually my mother, father, etc. like, what if they were robots or aliens. i just want to make sure.

My mum told me that people’s souls live in their shoes and ever since I have been unable to buy second hand shoes for fear I may buy ones that belonged to a bad soul!

If I’m writing an email and in the middle of it a new email comes, in my head, that means that I have to re-write it all over again because something is wrong. Since I get hundreds of emails everyday, you can imagine that takes a while.

When I am flying somewhere, I have to see a person on the ground before the plane lands. I get a wave of anxiety a little before landing that some cataclysmic event wiped out all the people on earth while my plane was in the air. So I have to get a window seat to make sure I can see some person down below.

My grandmother told me when I was a kid that bright red lipstick will drain your lips of all their real color. To this day, I still can’t wear bright red lipstick - I stick to very pale shades…

Whenever I eat cereal with milk, I systematically eat it so that there is always the same amount of milk and cereal at all times. It drives me crazy though. My heart beats so rapidly. Each time I do it, I hate it and want to stop, but thinking about stopping only makes it worse.