i am neurotic.

Ever since i was small and found a lizard in my shoe, I always have a need to check in my shoe at least twice every time i wear them.

I have to check the bed for snakes before I will get in. If my husband’s already in bed, I will wake him up and make him get out, so I can thoroughly check. I make sure to leave the toilet seat down at night time, in case a snake comes up the toilet. I live in Ireland, and we have no snakes here. I’m not sure where I got my phobia from.

I can’t eat the first bite out of a banana or a cucumber…someone else has to take the first bite, or cut it off for me with a knife. I am convinced that if I do eat it, it will turn into a snake and eat its way out of my stomach.

I read a news story about a man who found a dead mouse baked into the loaf of bread he bought from the supermarket. Whenever I buy a sliced loaf now i have to flick through all the slices to make sure no animal has been trapped and baked to death in there.

Whenever I get out of the shower, I unfold the towel and hold it up in front of the mirror. This way I can see both sides and make sure there are no bugs before I dry myself off.

I really don’t like squishing bugs. If I’m on a bus or a train, and a little greenfly lands on my hand I have to try and keep it alive until the end of the journey where I can release it. I’m forever moving snails off the pavement and into the hedge row too!

I am deathly afraid of pigeons. If I see one ahead of me, I will either make someone I’m with scare it away, or cross the street. I’ll walk extra blocks to avoid them. If I am surrounded and can’t see a pigeon-free path, I will pull out my phone and “pretend” to make a call until they fly away and the road is clear.

I found a moth in my pantry the other day and it all went downhill from there. I cleared out the pantry, cleaned with soapy water and fumigated throughout. After letting it air out, I put everything back and cleaned, and I mean CLEAN, the house completely so I can fumigate the rest of the house. All I can think about that night was that moth flying into my ear during my sleep. I had a restless night of course! (maybe it was a side effect of the fumes!) P.S. I didn’t find any other bugs, in the pantry or any other place in the house, but still obsessed over it!

When my cat pukes or has a hairball, even if it’s been picked up already, I can’t walk or stand in the place the cat puked for a few hours because I feel like I’ll get hairball residue all over my feet or socks.

i like birds in theory, but in reality i think they’re all rats with wings. whenever i’m near them i always cover my nose and mouth and sprint by them. if they start flapping their wings, i loose it. i imagine them creating this cloud of vermin and parasites and have to turn around and walk in a different direction until i feel i have cleared the “cloud.”