i am neurotic.

I am constantly checking the zipper to my jeans; after using the bathroom, after walking out from any bathroom, or before walking into a building or public place. I’m terrified of being caught with my fly open. I’ve gotten very good at discreetly checking the zipper with my thumb to see that it’s up where it should be.

When I use plastic hangars for my clothes, their color has to match whatever is hanging on them, otherwise I’d just as soon leave them on the floor. Metal hangars are good for shirts, but tend to leave nearly-as-bad crease marks in pants.

Ever since i was small and found a lizard in my shoe, I always have a need to check in my shoe at least twice every time i wear them.

I can absolutely not have sex with my socks on. It grosses me out and the only thing I’m able to think about the whole time is that my socks are on.

I canNOT touch the bottom of my shoe if my life depended on it. Even if it’s with just my nail, I cannot even bare to touch it. If i accidentally do, I have to make sure that finger doesn’t move or touch anything else until I wash it.

I have a habit of reading people’s shirts. I don’t care what it says as long as it has some sort of wording. This becomes a problem with my female friends. My female friends assume I’m looking at their boobs when I’m just reading their shirt. Btw… I’m a guy.

I can’t wear any new article of clothing before it is washed. The idea that someone else has tried on, and, more disgustingly, been inside the clothes I am getting ready to wear, shakes me to my core. Also, unless the person is a REALLY close friend, if I loan clothes to someone, I will almost always let them keep them. All because I can’t stand the thought of someone else being inside my clothes.

I can never let anyone see my underwear. When I used to go to the laundromat, I would wash my underwear in mesh bags so nobody could see them turning around in the dryer. I still don’t like it now when my partner gets a glimpse of them. The only time it is acceptable is when I am wearing them.

I don’t see how cooking show hosts can stand making their dishes wearing long sleeves. They’re bound to get dirty and/or wet.

I can’t wear hats. I’ve been told that I’m a hat person, and I like hats, but any time I go out into public wearing a hat I feel like I’m wearing a neon sign that says, “Look at me! I’m wearing a hat!” I even get embarrassed wearing them at baseball games, where I probably actually stand out because I’m the only one not wearing a hat.