i am neurotic.

When I get a new facebook wall post, I have to wait at least a day to reply. And if they reply immediately? I have to wait another day, so it doesn’t seem like I was sitting there waiting for their reply…

I don’t like when people sit close to me or touch me while I’m eating. I especially don’t like to look at food once I’ve decided I’m done eating. If I look back down at the table I have to fight the temptation to gag. I end up looking like a nervous mess, then worry about looking nervous.

I share a bathroom with my older brother who is rather unsanitary. When I enter or exit my bathroom I take all my things in a little basket and store them in my bedroom. I cannot leave them in the bathroom. I also ALWAYS clean the mirror over my sink with windex after being in the bathroom for a period of time, even if it is clean.

I’m convinced that the reason I can’t get a date is because my nail polish is chipped. My nail polish is chipped because I compulsively pick at my cuticles and nails. I compulsively pick at my cuticles and nails because I’m constantly worrying that I’ll die surrounded by cats, after a dateless life due to chipped nail polish.

Whenever i borrow videos from my library, neglect to watch them, and return them, i hate to take them out again after that, even if it’s a film i really wanted to see, simply because i don’t want the librarian who checks the movie out to ask me something like “you must really like this movie huh?”. the reason being i can’t lie to them and say “i sure do!” nor do i want explain that i took the movie out and just didn’t watch it last time.

i have to spell out every word i say silently in my head. if people talk while i am doing this i block them out until i am finished and then respond. wow sounds crazier when i type it.

I am terrified of having my ankles slit – totally irrationally. This has led to a fear of people behind me. I always have to stand with my back to a wall so I can see everyone in the room. No one can open doors for me, because I can’t have them walk behind me. I pretend I’m a feminist – but really I just don’t trust them!

I’m from Northern Ireland and I travel a lot with my work and when I go to other countries (Americia espeically) they can never tell where I’m from. They always guess Ireland or England and it annoys me so much but I can’t correct them. I just go along with it because I think it’s rude to correct someone I just met. I can only correct them if I’ve known them for a while that way it doesn’t seem so bad.

Whenever I have missed calls on my phone, I have to go through them and delete them from my list until it says 0 missed calls. I don’t want anyone to see my phone and think I ignore people.

When I was a kid (around 10 or 11) I read a lot of books written in the first person. As a result, I would narrate all of my actions and words in my head. For example, when I would make myself a sandwich, I would think to myself, “I opened the refrigerator and took out the cheese and mayo. ‘My brother ate all the turkey again,’ I thought with dismay.” Once I actually wound up saying to my mother, “Mom, can I go to Lisa’s?” and then, without meaning to, added, OUT LOUD, “I asked.” At that point I realized I had a problem and started forcing myself to stop doing it, but I still catch myself doing this from time to time. I’m now 30.