i am neurotic.

Whenever I send text messages, there has to be an even number of characters left before it starts a new text message. If not, I add a space or another character so that the number is even.

whenever I make a phone call, I practice saying hello while the phone is ringing. If I don’t, I feel like I’ll say it wrong and the entire conversation will be enveloped in failure.

My cell phone & remote controls must be placed under my pillow when i go to sleep.

I cannot leave voicemail for people. The only time I can is when my friend and I have “voicemail wars”, but even then I feel kind of bad about doing it. I feel sorry for the phone for having to work hard enough to call someone when I don’t even get to talk to them.

When I’m talking to a certain friend on the phone I get nervous that I’m not going to be able to think of anything to say and the conversation will go dead. The ensuing anxiety causes me to then blank out and not listen and generally screw up the whole conversation until it does in fact go dead. So now I keep a list of topics that my friend might like in a tagged database. Sometimes he calls me though and I’m not next to my computer and I have to bluff my way through the conversation until I can access my list.

Whenever I text someone, as soon as I hit send, I switch the phone on silent and hide it under something. It makes me nervous when the phone rings because I don’t know when its going to go off and I don’t like not knowing when its about to go off. Then when I check it and see they message me it makes me feel like they really thought of me.

Whenever I speak to someone over the phone, I always have to be walking somewhere. I’m either walking home from the train station, walking down town, or just pacing back and forth in my room. Walking helps me concentrate on what’s going on in the conversation, otherwise the conversation would be incredibly bland.

I can only wake up to a phone. Any other way, besides waking up on my own, makes me cranky the whole day. If my mom wants to wake me up, she can’t knock on the door. She has to call my cell phone. Also, I can’t stand for anyone to even touch my door. I am very territorial and if I hear someone even touch it on the way to the bathroom I have to check to make sure they’re not in my room. If someone is talking to me while I’m in my room and they’re outside of it, they are not allowed to touch the door knob. It’ll drive me nuts.

when i get a call on my phone, before i answer it, i rehearse the first line of what i’ll say to them. like, “hey dude what’s up, ” to make sure it has the appropriate affect and cadence.

I’m completely paranoid about my phone going off in class so normally I leave it at home, but if I know that I’m going to need it or there’s a chance of needing it, I bring it. Before I even get in my car to drive to school, I have to make sure that my phone is on silent and that it’s turned off. Then I take the battery out of the phone and place it in small compartment in my bag and then put the body in a completely different pocket because I’m afraid that somehow they’ll join back together and turn on and ring. Part of this is because I’m embarrassed of my ring tone.