i am neurotic.

Many weeks can pass without me picking up the telephone because I’m terrified of hearing a person on the other end of the line who I have disappointed in some way. The possibility of hearing disappointment in anyone’s voice has seriously at times meant that I haven’t picked up the phone or listened to voicemails for months at a time.

i have to have 911 pre-dialed into my cell phone every time i leave the house so all i would have to do is press the call button if i get attacked or in an accident. i fear that the one time i dont do this, something awful will happen.

When my home telephone rings, i cannot pick it up in the gap between the “Bring! bring!” sound. i have to wait untill it makes the noise again for me to pick it up while it is sounding. This means i am always left standing with my hand over the phone for a few miliseconds..

I text message a lot, but I am wary of abbreviating things, or being completely misunderstood. Mainly with the word, “tomorrow.” It’s a big word, and I can only use 160 characters in a text message. But I am so afraid to use the shortened “tom” even though I do not talk to or about any Toms. I came clear about all of this with the person I text the most, and she laughed at me and told me it was okay to type “tom” instead of “tomorrow”. I still can’t do it.

I have to stay up until I believe anyone that might call me for help has gone to bed. I need to be available for everyone that I know. I find myself staying up till 1AM and waking up around 5 in the morning for work.  I also sleep with the phone next to my head, just incase someone needs to call me.

I use correct grammar and punctuation. Always. Even in text messages. Even semi-colons. I use semi-colons in text messages.