i am neurotic.

When I was young, I’d hold my breath as I passed cemeteries. A friend had told me that if I didn’t spirits would enter my body. After my grandmother died I started breathing in deeply every time I passed one. I still do this.

everyday i ask my family questions only they would know to make sure they’re actually my mother, father, etc. like, what if they were robots or aliens. i just want to make sure.

My mum told me that people’s souls live in their shoes and ever since I have been unable to buy second hand shoes for fear I may buy ones that belonged to a bad soul!

I sleep with a teddy bear I’ve had since I was four- but I have to make sure its head is above the covers all night. My father used to go on long trips away from home, and I believed that his soul was leased to the stuffed animal while he was gone. I am always terrified that it will suffocate and subsequently my father will die.

When I was young, I used to worry about alien abduction (because of all the tv shows describing such events). So every night when I would go to bed, I would stack large body pillows and blankets over me for protection. I reasoned that the aliens long, skinny, arms would be too weak to move all of the wrappings; effectively saving me from certain doom.

i cannot look into a mirror at 2:17am for some reason. if i accidentally do, i am so scared of my reflection until the sun comes back up because i see it as being very shadowed and angry for disturbing it in its one minute of slumber that it might start doing stuff to control me, rather than me doing stuff to control it!!!

There are times when I literally can’t sleep because I can’t stop thinking about zombie invasions and wondering if one is happening right now and what I will do if that happens and how much I would miss and worry about my family and what the best places to hide out would be and how long the food i have would last….etc.

I’m neurotic about when people talk about catastrophic events like the world ending because the temperature goes up 6 degrees, but zombies, I love.
I used to go to a 7th day adventist church with my aunt. They were really social but also liked to talk about the apocolypse. So I’d be at a pool party and they’d be like “The world is going to end in September.” And then I’d think about how I’d like to actually get to high school.